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It was a hot and humid day. While walking on Kingston Ave., I realized that my shoes needed fixing. “Do you fix shoes while one waits?” I asked at a nearby shoe store. I was shown a chair. I soon learned that the wait for fixing the shoes would be almost a complete hour. I finished some Tehilim and then decided to learn from my surroundings. I learned 3 important lessons at the shoemaker that day.

Lesson #1: The shoemaker and his wife were noticeably from some part of the former USSR, most probably from the asiatic countries. Their pride in keeping their traditions reminded me of my recent trip to Eretz Yisroel. There I was exposed to so many different types of Yidden; From Black Hat Litvish to Breslov, Bobov to Belz, From Reb Ahrale’s to Kippa Sruga. Tichlach in one way, hats on Sheitlach by others. But strange as it may seem, they all showed their pride in belonging to their group, BY THE WAY THEY DRESSED. Of Course it did not testify to their inner story or their level of observance, but it was clear THEIR DRESS REFLECTED THEIR PRIDE IN BELONGING. In contrast, those who do not dress according to their parents, seem to LACK THAT INNER PRIDE. WE MUST HELP BUILD THAT INNER PRIDE.

Lesson #2: I was happy with the work of this shoemaker. Even though he took a long time, my shoes were comfortable and wearable when he was done. Not so many years ago. Oh how I remember when another shoemaker, for a handsome price, gave me brand new soles, thick to last a lifetime. The only problem was that it made my shoes size smaller and I could no longer wear the shoes. What a lesson! Sometimes recognizable effort is exerted but it doesn’t accomplish what it should. Oh how this compared to the lady just coming into the store. She might have come from 770 - I see women (not all but some) at rallies with their children, who are so anxious that their young ones respond to the enthusiasm of the leader. The mothers, themselves are stocking less with painted toes and skirts noticeably too short, clothes not loose enough to be called tzniusdick (to be mild). True, the mothers were wearing sheitlach on a hot day, and they would never wear pants, but had sleeves over the elbows. This mother wanted her child to be enthused. But I wondered, what did this child think of her mother? What will the daughter look like when she is a mother? And then... I thought of the effort: the sheitel, the long sleeves, the skirt, the thick soles of the other shoemaker, his labor, and the shoes could not be worn! But there is hope in our case: the shoe could be stretched, the picture changed. Just a few inches on the skirt, stockings and shoes, just a wee bit more... and the shoe could be worn, modesty would be accomplished.

Lesson #3: Mothers do put effort into the enthusiasm of their children. They really only want the best for them. They truly care for their children more than they care for themselves. They permit themselves to do, what they would never allow their children to do. This essentially comes from motherly love. Unfortunately, the conclusion of a world wide study was that children often (C”V) leave the fold of their roots because of mixed messages. They can’t stand the inconsistency. There is nothing more insulting to youth, than being fooled, double standards, not being fair. Motherly love must be directed. It must be a long casting caring that will bring Nachas to all future generations.

A week and a half ago a meeting was held renewing the organization of Dare to Care. Take a moment to reflect on the name. Dare: yes indeed, anyone touching the topic of Tznius has to be daring. Usually you will only get criticism: ”you have to be positive!”, “Its not our way.”. Yet we decided to DARE. Dare to join together to Care. The only reason we are doing this is because we care. Care about the name of Crown Heights, care about the name of Lubavitch, care about what its doing to our youth, and care about YOU. All of us.. we would all lead a much more meaningful, dignified life if we would only grow in matters of Tznius. Try it! Guaranteed you’ll like it, your life, and the lives of your family will change.

A weekly article in the CHJCC Announcements will IM”H be prepared with words of encouragement about Tznius from the Rebbe, a few words on the Halacha of Tznius and a suggested Hachlata of the week. We would also appreciate any editorials of “I was touched” on the topic of Tzius sent to Dare to Care, 389 Kingston Avenue, Brooklyn NY 11225.

Yud Beis Tammuz was the day the Frierdiker Rebbe was freed from prison for spreading yiddishkeit. The Frierdiker Rebbe said: “It is worthy to affix this day for a day of farbrengen, and awakening to chizuk haTorah ve’haYehadus (strengthening Torah and Yidishkeit) in each place as appropriate. The word Torah was put before yehadus for a purpose. No one would dare say that Judaism and Jewish customs were made by man. Torah is what dictates Judaism (yehadus). Even the customs instituted by the Rabbi’s in later generations are to be recognized as part of Torah. One who differentiates between Torah and the customs of our Rabbis is creating a door (CV”S) to heresy. One must know that even Torah SheB’aal Peh is from Heaven.”

Din - How true this is with the laws of Tznius. No one dare say “I think this looks ok” if there are rules of Tznius which disagree. The rules of Tznius are not a “pain” in the neck but require “hugging” the neck. Anything slightly boatneck (that reveals the line of the neck beyond the circle of your neckline, -collarbone in the front-) cannot be uncovered.

Hachlata - Let us start with ourselves and our small daughters, because Chinuch from a young age leaves a strong and everlasting impression.

Until you are able to go to the seamstress, put safety pins on the sides of the sliding necklines of your T(for trouble) shirt. Her actions will teach the elders that we are an “Am K’shei Oref” “A strong necked people.” Hold your neck high. Show that only what is correct shall be exposed. It is our most beautiful neck”lace”.

The Rambam says, concerning the Mitzva of Maaka (Making a fence around a roof) that you actually say a brocho before putting up this fence. The Rebbe explained that preventing danger can be done in many ways. But making a Maaka, a fence, on a roof is a Mitzva and requires a brocho. The Rebbe also explained that when building a house literally, or getting married and building a house figuratively, the boundaries one had before are not enough. You need to expand. Since a person is starting a new avodah with new challenges, (like the Frierdiker Rebbe said about each Rosh Hashana) we all should expand our boundaries, add in our “fence,” with Hidur and Ziherus (carefulness) of Mitzvos. Does a person really have to prevent all circumstances? Must I never wash my floor, because someone might slip? Can I never throw a banana peel on the floor because it will cause someone to slip? The Torah DOES give us an obligation to avert danger. Even if a person was destined to fall, it should not be through Me, because I did not make a fence on my roof.

Din - Likewise a woman is obligated to dress according to all the laws of Tznius at all times. Don’t create an opening in the fence that can cause “danger.” It is an avodah of expanding our boundaries, not breaking them without a care for the consequences. She can’t say people shouldn’t look at her when she bends over and bares a portion of her back, or raises her hands and exposes her midriff. Her sleeves, shirt and skirt length must be b’Tznius in all ways and no matter what position she is in.

Hachlata - Sometimes when people are careful about their sleeves lengths, and make sure that their skirts cover their knees they tend to forget the danger of wearing blouses or “T” shirts that are not tucked in or too short. Tucking in your shirt is the safest way to ensure Tznius. What is too short? Don’t try bending over once or twice and give a positive verdict, make a security fence. Those few extra inches on the length of the blouse or shirt can and will really make a large difference.

Children must have Hakoras Hatov for the care their parents took with them. Moshe couldn’t hit the sand or water that protected him, or go to war with Midyan because he grew up there. We must always be grateful for what people do for us. Thank you is expected and appropriate, otherwise one is considered rude.

Halacha - What greater Tova could a person do for you - than make you aware of some of lack in your dress that is not up to par with the laws of Tznius. Tanya tells us person is called a rosho if someone refrains from reprimanding. A person who mentions to you a flaw in tznius believes that you are a Yirei Shamayim, care about your tznius and have overlooked something you really care about. The obvious reaction is saying “THANK YOU” “How kind of you to tell me”. Just as if someone would tell you about a smudge on your face.

Hachlata - From now on we have to look with a good eye at our neighbors. They are really Tzadikim that want to do things right. If a reprimand comes from the heart it is with your best interest in mind so say: “Thank you for telling me”.

Responsibility is a basic trait and sign of maturity. Children as well as adults must always be taught that they are responsible for their own behavior. It is the basis of the Chesban Hanefesh each person must make each night and before Rosh Hashana. Everyone is responsible to Hashem for all of their actions, must repent for all of their aveiros, and accelerate their growth in Ahavas and Yiras Hashem.

There are though other responsibilities that are put onto people, where they become responsible for other people as well. When a mother asks her older daughter to take care of a younger sibling she would often say, “You are responsible for Moishe.” Parents are responsible for their children’s Chinuch. Part of their Chinuch is Tzinius.

Dressing B’tzinius shows a person is at least outwardly a Yiras Shamayim and of course, the opposite is also true. Parents must do everything in their power to insure that their children have Yiras Hashem and dress perfectly Tzinius. Rather then shrugging it off it is the parents’ responsibility to seek appropriate guidance.

Principles are responsible for the Yiras shamayim of their faculty they too are responsible for 100% Tzinius.
Husbands are responsible for their wives. (To be discussed next week in length)

Meanwhile we have enough homework until next week IY”H. Our Hachlata of course is to practice what was preached.

Torah was given to make peace in the world. When man and a woman marry in a way of Kedusha, the Shechinah rests upon them. In the first year of marriage, a man is absolved from going to the army thereby traveling away from home in order to allow a lasting relationship to develop. When a marriage is based on Kedusha, “Harei At Mekudeshes li” it brings into the world holy children with natural tendencies to be good. The couple is also Mechanech the children with holiness, for that is the purpose of marriage.

How does one create a holy family? Letters of the Freideker Rebbe and the Rebbe explain how even before marriage, Talmedei Tomchei Temimim should insist on their values, including the fact that their wives wear a sheitel. In Likutei Sichos Gimmel In the sicha for the parsha of Bereishis , the Rebbe explains how to create a loving atmosphere with respect for everything holy. Although the man of the house was given the power “V’hu Yimshal Bach” . He has to teach his wife not in a way of Gezeira Gezarti but in a sweet and pleasant way. One who has the responsibility as a husband and a father in the home should be Moche (protest) a defective situation but in a way that shows that he started off his marriage well with devotion to his wife and her sensitive feelings. This is why the Torah was given first to women in a soft manner. So much depends on her cooperation and with a proper approach and understanding of the seriousness of the laws of Tzinius, she is sure to do the Ratzon Balah: 1) Her husband’s true wishes. 2) The Abishter’s true wish , of being an Ayshes Chayil one who follows in the footsteps of the Imahos and goes in the way of modesty.

One of the hardest of emotions to deal with is disappointment. When one works hard on a recipe or a new cake and it doesn’t come out well, when a student studies for hours for a test only to receive a “low mark” and when a father might work for many years at a company and suddenly be dismissed from his job. All the above are a testing point of tolerance.

The greatest disappointment is when parents are disappointed with their children’s behavior. There are degrees of disappointment, some are tolerable and others more severe, but this form of disappointment takes its greatest toll from committed Jewish parents. Sometimes the first sign of your commitment is in the way the children want to dress. An innocent question “Where does it say I can’t?” may may be an expression of inner thoughts and tendencies that have not yet come to exposure.

Children also suffer from disappointments. Many, even small children have an inner image of how their parents should look. A dignified looking mother is something to be proud of and the opposite is true. The biggest disappointment of youth is when someone they thought was totally committed, was found at faulty in a very obvious way. As a teacher who may preach that, one must always listen to the Rebbe yet will leave her house with a tichel rather then a sheitel.

Husbands are also disappointed when their wives are comfortable dressing in a casual manner outside their homes.

The opposite of disappointment is pride. Pride of parents in their childrens’ dress. Pride of children in what their parents and teachers represent and pride husbands feel for their dignified wives. Let’s be proud.

In the United States of America it is very hard to imagine the reality of an absolute Monarchy. A president can be impeached, and at best after 4 years he must campaign for reelection. The fear of a King who has absolute power will be condition of the Geula Sheleima. People will want Moshiach as Melech, King, and will listen to him as he guides all Jews back to Yiddishkeit. Melech Hamoshiach will have the power to unite all Jews and the whole world in their service to Hashem. No more wars, no arguments, a King like Moshiach will have the power and trust of all his subjects and the time of our complete Geulah will begin.

Each year before Rosh Hashana we ask HKB”H to be our King. We promise that we will listen to anything and everything he asks us to do. How easy it is to generalize and say “Yes, I’ll be good” HKB”H gave us instructions to follow to “be good”, and our Rabbeim guide us and teach us how to follow these instructions through the Galus and prepare us for the Geula. Like the recent brouhaha over Sheitels, the Rebbe wants his Chassidim to wear only a Sheitel outside. Our Rabbonim assure us there is no problem of Avoda Zara. Our Rebbe wants his “Lady Soldiers” to dress in uniform, all of us, under one flag, in his Bakosha Pnimiut. Yes, Chitas means commitment to Lubavitch, Nussach Ari, means commitment to Lubavitch. Let our uniforms also show our commitment and readiness for Moshiach to come now. We are ready because we learned how to listen.

One topic of Tzinius that seems to rate as the most difficult to resolve, is the mystery of the top button. Unlike American well dressed men and many many Shluchim, who not only close their top button, but cover it with the tight knot of a tie, women all over the world are choking for air and find it impossible to close their top button: Religious schools came to a compromise and concocted a "Tzinius button between the top and the 2nd button that is still acceptable according to Tzinius standards. Many girls still complain that their particular shirt actually was made too tight for their neck and therefore they must open another button. As strange as it may seem, girls and women alike are willing to wear t-shirts underneath their blouses even in hot weather as long as they are able in that case to keep their button(s) open.

While trying to solve this mystery we may also note that well meaning parents and Machanchos who insist that their girls or students abide by tzinius rules and close necessary buttons find only minutes later that the buttons were opened again It is one of the hardest rules to enforce because it can be broken even after it was just implemented.

On a happier note, the button is the easiest one, of all Tzinus faults to correct.

Unlike short socks that must be replaced with proper foot covering, not like slits that must be sewn, not like short skirts that can no longer be worn or short tops or blouses that are not b'tznius when one bends down, not like tight clothes that must be passed to younger or thinner siblings, when a button is not b"tzinius all you have to do is close it.

It is interesting to note that concerning the Geulah Shleima the Rebbe quotes the Friedikeker Rebbe saying "All we have to do is to Tzuputzin De kneplach, "Polish the Buttons". Polishing means making sure they shine. Now doesn't that mean our buttons must be perfect, a shining example?

So let's all polish our kneplach, shine our buttons, keeping them closed firm and strong and begin in that way to breath the new air of the Geulah Shleima Now!

American history has it that tobacco fields were the source of economic success for many of its residents. About 25 years ago in America and elsewhere, cigarette smoking was quite the norm. Life was tense and the cigarette a favorite relaxant.

And then came the shocking news: Cigarettes have a direct connection to lung cancer! Notices were posted on all ads for popular brand cigarettes: the warnings of health authorities. And yet business was as busy as ever. Taxi drivers had to be begged to put out their cigarettes.

Finally, the realization surfaced, that the cigarette smoker not only harms himself, but also pollutes the air, affecting all people around him. People with asthma would be affected. Everyone would eventually be at risk. The trend just HAD TO STOP No one believed it could happen...breaking the habit seemed IMPOSSIBLE but – finally places of business became smoke free. Hospitals, planes, offices, restaurants, forbade smoking; smoking can only take place outside, during a break. American indoors is now pollution free.

Lack of Tznius is like the cigarette. People like to relax, buy what’s easy to get, what is cooler in the summer and, why not, follow the fashion trends. They don’t realize how it pollutes the air. Their own character changes with the clothes they wear. Sloppy, over-casual dress makes you feel loose and free, immodest dress dulls one’s natural pride and respect of self. But as with the cigarette, who can stop the people who have become addicted? Maybe when we realize that it not only affects the wearer but pollutes and makes “coarse” the atmosphere all around – maybe then people would attempt to make their Dalet Amos “smoke free” insisting that the FIRES of IMMODESTY and desires are NOT WELCOME! (Whereas the people themselves are…All they have to do is button up, put on a shawl or just plain dress with tznius and modesty).

It’s time we address air pollution. It will bring the clean and pure air of the Geula Shleima NOW.

I’m writing you this letter because I want you to hear the voice of my heart – maybe things I would not be able to express directly to you.

You left the house upset today, and I know I was the cause. I insisted that you return to the store two new outfits you bought because I felt that some standards of Tznius were lacking. Yes, I did trust you to go shopping on your own and I still trust you. I trust you and I love you at the same time.

I also understand you – maybe a lot more than you think. I, too, was once young and I remember how important it was for me to be accepted by my friends – by doing things that were seen as “normal”. You have every right to feel that way too. You also have a right to be upset with me, your mother – who seems to be making it difficult for you to have this so called acceptance. It is because of these feelings that you so validly have, that I am writing this letter to you.

When Hashem created the world with parents who would give birth to children –and especially after Matan Torah, parents were given the responsibility to continue the chain of tradition. Hashem picked Avrohom because he would “Yetzava” give over, the traditions to his family, to Yitzchak, and Yitzchak to Yaakov and so on throughout Jewish history. Hashem also gave each parent the ability to reach and direct their children in the way of Toras Emes; and yet as a parent it is sometimes a very difficult task. Each generation has its challenges...each country, each neighborhood, each friend that a child picks, and each child’s personality. We parents sit and think and try and beg Hashem steer us in the right direction.

We also understand you because when we were young, WE ALSO CHALLENGED OUR PARENTS. Hashem told Chava that parents would have tzaar, pain, in bringing up their children…Nonetheless we were GIVEN THE ABILITY TO SUCCEED.

Please, Mushky, understand that I really love you and want only the best for you. Since you were young, you remember how I always tried to make you happy and give you only the best. I often deprived myself of MY needs for you, because you are dearer to me than my oneself. You are my future…Yes, I might ask you sometimes to do what you feel I have not yet mastered. Believe me, I’m not a hypocrite, I want and truly want for you – even what I can’t master myself.

Please Mushky, save this letter and when just a few more years go by, I’m sure you’ll appreciate my inner struggle in giving and demanding of you…for you know that for you I want only the best.

Crown Heights is a community comprised of individuals whose level of commitment varies. Most are fully committed Chassidic and tzniusdike Lubavitchers with extended families on Shlichus. However, there are those who unfortunately have questioned their full commitment and have slacked in certain areas including, tznius. When seeing a mixture of these people walking the street some might ask, BUT WHO IS THE COMMUNITY?

There are no policemen to give tickets and no real authority to prevent people from doing as they please. On the other hand, the stores in a community depend on the goodwill and approval of the residents, for their business. Therefore, the residents of a community, have the power to request that the merchandise, displayed and sold, be acceptable. Many stores report that they get extra material for interested customers and return garments that are too short, but this is not enough to create the impression that Crown Heights is a Chassidishe Community….. The Rebbe’s Chassidishe Community.

What does that mean practically? EVERYONE takes responsibility in building, or Chas Veshalom, in tearing down our community. From storekeepers, to residents, to even visitors. It means thinking twice before walking down our streets, for what you wear is either a vote for or a vote against a Chassidishe community. And what we WANT to wear and demand from our stores will advertise the name of Crown Heights. Let us realize that when our women dress in refined apparel, (not denim material, for example) careful that the necklines are closed properly, al pi halacha, we are creating and making CROWN HEIGHTS the community of which the Rebbe would be proud.

People sharing similar commitments and beliefs; try to build what is called a community, you’ve seen Little Italy or Chinatown, two very individual and distinct communities. On the Jewish level, we also have communities; Chassidic; Sephardic; Modern Orthodox, etc.
Crown Heights is a community comprised of individuals whose level of commitment varies. Most are fully committed Chassidic and tzniusdike Lubavitchers with extended families on Shlichus. However, there are those who unfortunately have questioned their full commitment and have slacked in certain areas including, tznius. When seeing a mixture of these people walking the street some might ask, BUT WHO IS THE COMMUNITY?

Sometimes the identity of the community can be recognized by the type, style and merchandise of the stores prominently displayed on its main street. Certainly Crown Heights has Kosher signs displayed, which says something about our community. Likewise, a stroll down Kingston Avenue, before Sukkos, for example, one can see Esrogim and Lulavim being sold in Judaica stores. Eateries, crowded with orchim, signaling the arrival of Tishrei. If clothing stores feature untzniusdike clothing in their window displays, and sell them, (even if to non-Jews), or if salespersons are dressed in totally untzniusdike clothing, this also reflects on our COMMUNITY.
There are no policemen to give tickets and no real authority to prevent people from doing as they please. On the other hand, the stores in a community depend on the goodwill and approval of the residents, for their business. Therefore, the residents of a community, have the power to request that the merchandise, displayed and sold, be acceptable. Many stores report that they get extra material for interested customers and return garments that are too short, but this is not enough to create the impression that Crown Heights is a Chassidishe Community….. The Rebbe’s Chassidishe Community.

October 14, 29 Tishrei

Guilt

Its 8:34 and I’m still not at school. I should be there at 8:30. I’m about to walk in and my mind is working feverishly for excuses: a phone call, could not find my keys, didn’t realize it was raining… Am I not human? And yet I was falling into the most human tendency: when guilty, find an excuse.

It is strange how Jews on Yom Kippur recite 10 times a long list of “guilty”. Sometimes it is the first step to correction, and yet to continue this for the whole year, to face up to reality, is a major step. Let’s see how it works with Tznius.

As I walk down the street I greet a former student and acquaintances, facial expressions sometimes mirror the guilty feeling. Sometimes students ½ a block away, will see me coming and cross the street. Others hold on to their collar button. It’s like my waling into school 5 min late. It’s uncomfortable, we look for excuses. Tznius excuses are many: “I did not realize”, “my feet itch (from the stockings)” “I had to make the bus” “I just needed something from the store” “I was in the middle of cooking”.

After we said Al Chet, admitted and took upon ourselves not to do it again, we celebrated Succos and Simchas Torah.

What greater happiness could there be, free from guilt, starting a new path, and a dance for joy.

October 22, 7 Cheshvan

Living with the Times

The Alter Rebbe told us to live with the times. How do we live with the times? We take our direction from the Parsha that was read that week. For the last 3 weeks the Parshiot of Bereishis, then Noach and now Lech Lecha have given us a message of Tznius. In Bereishis the sin of eating from the Eitz Hada’as came about because the Nachash (serpent) saw the open affection publicly displayed by Adam and Chava for each other and became jealous of Adam. The very first instinct after the sin of the Eitz Hada’as was to cover themselves. Shame became part of our consciousness, it helps us stay away from behavior and situations that can be harmful to us.

In Parshas Noach, we read how Noach planted a vineyard, became intoxicated and removed his clothes. Shem and Japhet walked backwards into the tent and covered their father. We see from the great reward Shem and Japhet received, that doing things with Tznius is how we should behave. Modesty and respect and care can be our direction from this Parsha.

This week’s Parsha, Lech Lecha shows us how between a man and his wife there is also mutual respect and Tznius. Chazal tell us how Avraham himself had never noticed the extent of Sarah’s beauty. Beauty is an internal thing, it is not just looks. Let us improve and enhance our internal beauty, that will shine through without any artifice, and will engender positive notice.

Let us learn how to comport ourselves from the Parsha of the week. Have a Good Shabbos!

The hot topic in America these days is the Flu Shot. There is a shortage of flu vaccinations and people are worried they will not be lucky enough to get one. No one is CH”V sick now, but everyone tries to take precautions so they do not get the current strain of flu or at least get a much milder form of it. Of course the flu shot only helps as a preventative against getting the flu. Once a person is ch”v sick a vaccine will not help.

In this day and age in America there are grave social problems in abundance, such as the breakdown of the family, drugs, overly permissive behavior and more. Only by employing preventive measures: getting the equivalent of a “flu shot” will we be able to navigate this quagmire. Make your family your main profession. Start when your children are very young, if one waits till adolescents it will be too late for any vaccine. Do things with your family, take spiritual time for each of your children, understanding them, helping them, and teaching them the importance of Tznius and responsibility. Responsibility for our conduct, for our mode of dress, responsibility to our nation, to our Rebbe, to HKB”H.

Yes we can change our community, our nation and even the world, by showing how proud we are to be responsible Tzniusdicke people who understand how to bring up a pure family with pure children. With our sincere influence and Tznius we can prevent our society’s ills from influencing us.

We all know that we have a mandate to elevate and enlighten the world at large. It is gratifying though when we see that we are actually having an effect. I recently saw an article taken from Town and Country Magazine that stated: "I read a story recently in the New York Times that, for a change, lifted my spirits instead of squelching them. It was a fashion article headlined "What Stylish Young Women Are Wearing: More." The reporter did not mean more expensive clothes or more layers of clothes. She was referring to the impulse to cover up more of the body, as a backlash against the current tendency to reveal as much as possible (and in some instances to expose altogether). It seems that the barely there styles of the past few years are being replaced by "demure knee-length skirts . . . layered T-shirts and flat shoes, all paraded as a badge of hip."... I breathed a deep sigh of relief-and I'm not even a parent." The writer concludes: "That brings me to a question: why is it that the most elegant people are usually reserved and publicity shy? And when they do talk, they deliberately say very little-and say it quietly. There's a lesson to be learned; take my word for it."

This article is taken from a very fashionable and widely distributed magazine. Maybe soon we will not need to avert our eyes from the bombardment of advertising we are subjected to. Let us pat ourselves on the back. We are doing this right, we are influencing the world. Now we should do more on our part to increase our level of Tznius so that we can influence the world at large even more. Ya'asher Koach!

In Hayom Yom we learn how our thoughts are a product of our emotions (seichel). When we are busy with good things our thoughts are directed to good and positive ideas, but we we are idle our thoughts wander aimlessly and may not be so constructive or positive.

We are always thinking. In fact to stop thinking is hard work, and needs training. Just think of all the stray thoughts we get while davening! As we think we make decisions. During a walk down the avenue I will think what to make for supper and decide what to buy, in which store to shop; when I shop i decide what hechsher to rely on. I may think I like a dress in the window and decide I may stretch my budget to afford it. I decide to give in to my children’s requests or not etc.

What makes me in to a person consciously responsible for my actions? What makes me sometimes take the easy way out?

The American way of life is to “take it easy”. Why do you work so hard? You should relax more. You should make time for yourself. Here in America people have no incentive to go the extra step on the contrary if you can “save” time or effort even if the result is not perfect, we are encouraged to go ahead.

Unfortunately this kind of “peer pressure is what causes us to buy a skirt or dress that has a slit, or is a bit too open around the neck. or is a bit tight overall etc. etc. It is easier to go with the flow and dress the way the fashion world wants us to without having to go the extra step and expense of sowing up a slit or filling in a neck and so on.

These are the nisionos of America, attacking us at every corner. On the other hand we are responsible people who are always making responsible and thought through decisions. We want to use our money wisely, we want to give our children only what is good for them, we want to be well dressed.

When we think things through and choose wisely, when we do not take “the easy way out”, that is when we come out ahead.

We don’t know what the impact of a mitzvah is, however we are told about the tremendous effect the mitzvah of tznius has on our children: There is a well known Gemorah in Yoma 47a, which tells us about Kimchis who was zoche to have seven sons who were Kohanim Gedolim. The Sages asked her in what merit was she able to raise such children? And she answered them: “The rafters of my house have never seen the plaits of my hair.” By Kimchis being so careful about tznius, that even in her house she never uncovered her hair, she ensured her children’s spiritual future.

We all wish the best for our children. We work long hours to try to give them the best of everything. We spend hours researching yeshivas, mesivtas, and seminaries to give them a strong chassidishe education that will be the foundation for their lives. After all the work, love, and effort we put into our children, are we going to ignore tznius the one mitzvah that we know will affect them so positively? We don’t expect our children to be Kohanim Gedolim, but we certainly wish for our children to be the very best they can be. Do all you can for them and like Kimchis, be careful with the important mitzvah of tznius.

Let us learn a lesson from the Menorah: The menorah was lit specifically in the Beis Hamikdosh and nowhere else. The Beis Hamikdosh which is the holiest place in the world is the place where we are commanded to increase the amount of illumination. There is no need to say that if the Beis Hamikdosh needs more illumination, so too in our own Mikdash Me’at, in our own houses, we must increase the light. Let us use this powerful tool of tznius that we have been given to raise our children in the best way possible. Wanting the best for our children as we do, we cannot be satisfied that we have done all we could for them until we push ourselves with the issue of tznius. With the hopes of the ultimate redemption, when the Beis Hamikdosh will be with us once again, Good Shabbos.

The most common translation of the word tznius is "modest." But unless you have seen a woman who embodies this praiseworthy quality, this does not convey the meaning adequately. In English, a modest person is unassuming and does not boast. Tznius is more than that. A tzniusdikeh person is refined and dignified, yet warm and gentle. "Wholesome" is a better translation. Unfortunately “wholesome” has received a bad reputation of late. It seems it is not “hip” to be “wholesome”. Can there be any better proof that the world’s values are skewed? The laws of tznius encompass more than our dress code; tznius is more a style of behavior than of dress, which is why the word "modest" does not do it justice. Tznius is an internal attitude which affects the outward appearance. Ultimately, tznius is an expression of our innate spirituality.
The laws of tznius reflect the elevated way in which we perceive ourselves and at the same time, allow us to regain control of the way others perceive us. Dressing modestly puts the woman in control of strangers' reactions to her. Just like one would take precautions while walking at night, a woman who dresses b'tznius insures for herself a more pleasant experience.

Adam and Chava's existence in the Garden of Eden was perfectly pristine: they saw each other with eyes of truth. At the same time they saw each others physical body, they also saw right through to the soul. In other words,body and soul were one inseparable unit. It's almost as if the body was a sheer garment that simultaneously clothed and revealed what was underneath it.
Unfortunately after the advent of the Chet Eitz Hadaas, imagination, which is the ability to perceive reality in a distorted, untruthful way, entered into their consciousness. For the first time, the unity of their body and soul was split. This caused Adam and Chava to see their body as just a body, without seeing through to their soul beneath. The powerful light of the body concealed the light of the soul.
"Tsniut" enables us to have a healthy attitude towards the physical body without losing the focus on our internal soul. We are able to still look good, and have talents, and a good job, etc.., but it does not let them define us.It does not tell us who we are. We have to learn how to use our looks, our talent, our job, in a way which draws people's attention to the deeper levels of good within the person. Not denying what we are, but using it to make a deeper statement about who we are.
Clothing is the external expression of the internal reality that tsniut creates. R' Zev Leff summarizes this perspective: "We modestly cover the externals to emphasize that there is more here than meets the eye, that the essence is the spiritual core and not the external façade."
The way we dress doesn't just effect how other people see us. It effects the way we see ourselves and how we feel about ourselves too. Tsniut is a combination of what you wear, how you wear it, how you walk, how you carry yourself... What could be modest on one person, might be totally immodest on another person, and not just because of her body shape, but because of who she is as a person. Every woman at any given moment has to ask herself the question: "The way I'm presenting myself right now, am I drawing more attention to my physical self or to who I am on the inside?"

Why is it the custom not to make a big party when a girl has a Bas Mitzvah when we make such an ado about boys’ Bar Mitzvah’s? One reason may be because this is the best introduction to the way that a girl is expected to live as she grows older. When a girls becomes Bas Mitzvah she stands at the beginning of her life. She sets the course of how she will live now, and in the future. A girls praise is “Kol Kevuda Bas Melech Penima.” Her praise is for her modesty, for her inner qualities, not for her external ones.It is therefore proper for her introduction to Mitzvos to be in Tzniusdik manner, without the publicity, and pomp and circumstance of a boy’s Bar Mitzvah
Unfortunately, nowadays Tznius is getting a very short shift, and seems to be out of style. But why should that be? We would never call hilchos shechita, old fashioned, so why do we call the halchos of clothing, old fashioned?!
When we stood at Har Sinai we collectively said “Na’ase Venishmah,” WE will do and WE will hear. We did not say “E’ese Veneshma,” I will do and I will hear. We all re-accepted the Torah again in the times of Mordechai and Esther. Kol Yisroel Arevim Ze Le Ze, we are all responsible for one another. How can we say: “I can wear what I want, and if someone is bothered by it, it’s their problem!” That is where we would be wrong. Kol Yisroel Arevim Ze Le Ze we are all responsible for one another. We have to make sure that what we wear does not cause someone else problems.
When Moshe was told “Ko Tomar le Beis Yaakov”. the women and girls were given the responsibility of passing on the torah to future generations. We are after all the ones who are at home to teach the little kinderlach, the ones in head start and kindergarten, teaching, both by example, and with paper and pen. We are the ones all over the world, introducing others to the wonderful world of Yiddishkeit. We are the ones who support and encourage our husbands in their learning and shlichus. We are the conduit that perpetuates Klal Yisroel. We do it with tznius, with modesty, without pomp and circumstance, the same way we were introduced to our role in the world at our Bas Mitzvah’s.

Especially in Crown Heights, every Jew wants Moshiach to come NOW, but just 'waiting' (achakai lo) for redemption to occur is not enough. There is another element here, and that is 'anticipating' redemption (tzepisa l'yeshua), that is, looking for it.
The difference between the two approaches is quite basic: the former is passive while the latter is pro-active. It is passivity that can lead to forgetfulness, but it is pro-activity that leads to an early redemption.
For example, imagine a person who needs to fly somewhere, but who could only purchase a 'stand-by' ticket. How does she act? Does she assume thats she will not get on the plane, and therefore not pack her bags until she gets a phone call from the airlines confirming her flight? Does she allow herself to become unreachable? Not if she truly wants to fly. Instead, she packs her bags in ANTICIPATION that she will get a seat, so that she can be ready at a moment's notice to run to the airport. And, she makes sure that if the airline needs to reach her, she will be there to receive their call, lest she miss her chance to fly.
Therefore, one who anticipates redemption has a Moshiach focus. Though she may go to work or take care of her daily responsibilities just like the next person, it is all against a backdrop of impending redemption. Such a person lives with one foot in this world, and one foot out. Such a person will be very careful with any issue of tznius, because after all we were worthy of redemption from Egypt because of our clothing, and such a person will increase their observance of tznius to hasten our Geula. May we all be pro-active in bringing and revealing Moshiach NOW!